we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
