I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
