i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize