I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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