I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was born a porn star she said
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Two words: blizzard sex
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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