you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
