the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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