quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
