Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
