I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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