remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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