She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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