Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
