They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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