He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
