the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize