you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
