When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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