I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
