David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
