I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
