A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It's like God shit irony all over that family
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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