was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
