nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
