went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
