yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
