So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We need to get me chipped asap
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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