Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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