did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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