listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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