oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
