look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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