I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
