you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize