I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
