You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
