she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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