so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
