He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
