Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
