it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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