Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize