i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
