Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
