maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
