hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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