Plan B is the new Plan A
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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