Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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