I accidentally burped into my bong.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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