she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
