Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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