i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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