i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
