After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
