it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
