he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
