Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i out mim tonsoeep
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
