i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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