Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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