at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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