so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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