Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
