i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
