I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
