Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I wish there were birth control emojis
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
