Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize