Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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