But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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